it is really hard to believe it has been 10 months since my sister left us i  still have some days where i try to call her on the phone or think of things to tell her -i feel sometimes like there is a huge hole in my life that will never be filled -some days it is hard to drag myself out of bed i am not sure this is something i will ever recover from -not sure why she had to be taken from us when she had so much to give this world and i feel like i do not contribute much it should have been me instead and i would give anything to trade places with her  i must still be here for some reason but i will be damned if i know what it is -sorry to be a downer sincerely sad in penna